Of Hate, Love, and Worry
by KorryWolf
Summary: Thomas feels like it's his fault that his two boyfriends have to deal with the anger of the people when they go outside of their home. So what are his plans to make sure they don't feel that pain anymore? Set in real world, characters are subject to ooc.


I couldn't describe it anymore, not a damned thing could have been described that day. All I know was that I was officially getting tired of dealing with things, school, home, life. I was just so done with everything. It's not like those two will miss me very much, they'll have each other. I wouldn't do it if it were only one of them, because then they wouldn't have anyone, but this way they'll have each other. They'll make it through just fine. Also this way, they won't have to deal with the rest of society. I really can't deal with it when we go out to eat or something and people poke fun at us or do things to us because we're in a polyamorous relationship. I am so done making those two suffer, I am truly done.

I woke up the next morning and crawled out from under the arms of Minho and Newt to go to the kitchen to make a note. Here it was five thirty in the morning. As I was writing the letter I heard Newt getting up and making his way down the stairs. After mumbling a few impurities, I crumpled up the paper and stuffed it into my pajama bottoms just in time for Newt to finish the last few steps into the kitchen.

"Huh? Tommy? Why're you up at this time? You usually don't wake up until after us and it's a Saturday meaning there isn't any work until Monday. Because you know that our company is closed on the weekends." I only nodded my head and agreed with him.

"I dunno," I said while shrugging. "I just woke up and couldn't go back to sleep and I didn't want to wake you guys up." I wasn't exactly lying, but I wasn't telling the whole truth either if you look at it logically enough. Newt narrowed his eyes at me and for some reason I flinched. That made the narrowed eyes go away and become replaced with concern. Newt made his way over to me, and I instantly brought my arms up. However I did it with my forearms showing and that made the situation far worse. I heard Newt gasp and he was by me in a second and grabbed my arms and turned them so he could see the angry red lines along my arms.

"Minho! Get down here right now!" Newts voice was in a panicky tone, however it sounded like he was getting ready to start crying. I heard a thud and fast paced steps mixed between running and walking down the stairs. Minho was at Newts' side before I knew it and he was looking at my arms that were held in front of me by Newts strong hold. I couldn't have broken away even if I tried. Minho's eyes changed to different emotions, angry, sad, fault, and the one I hated the most out of anyone, pity. I hated it. There were several moments of silence before the question I knew was coming.

"Thomas….why?" I hated the question with a passion, because it's the only question ever asked. As dumb as it may sound, I'd rather them ask me where I got the object to do this, if I was okay, would I be okay…...but they won't. I just turned my head away unable to look them in the eye or their general way.

"Thomas you tell us right now or-" As soon as Newt said that, I snatched my arms away from him, some of them scratching back open, and tumbled backwards out of my chair and right into the nearest corner I could find. I didn't want them to turn out like the other people, that's why I was going to do myself in. But they're starting to get to be like them because they have to put up with a mistake like me. I felt a warm hand on my cold arm and I tensed up instantly. I didn't want them to hurt me, but if it made them feel better, then I could learn to live with it for a while. I felt another warm arm go around my shoulders and one under my legs that were curled into my chest. I felt myself being pulled into a warm area and felt so safe. I slowly opened my eyes to see an upset and concerned Minho to a crying Newt. I was confused at first until I saw what was in his hand, my halfway made letter.

"Tommy…...why would you think that? Why dammit?!" Newt's voice was so strained it was unbearable. I only went to hide, but Minho wouldn't allow it.

"Thomas, you at least owe us an explanation. Was it something we did?" My eyes widened.

"Absolutely not! Why would you think it was either of yours faults? I blame myself because that way if you weren't around me or if I were dead or something everyone would be more accepting of the relationship. They would accept you two because it's only one and one, while it would be one and one and one and they don't like it. So I thought if I terminated my life yours would be easier. I mean after all I'm nothing more than trash and garbage so I repeat my-" I was cut off by a pair of lips that attached themselves to mine. When they pulled away I looked at Minho. He looked really really mad.

"And this is why I don't like people. They make others feel like their shit when they aren't. I hate that they made you feel this way. Honestly though, I thought we were the only ones that mattered." Newt looked at me and Minho as Minho finished talking. Then Newt started in.

"Exactly, Tommy, I thought that we showed you how much we love you. I guess that hasn't been enough though. And make it easier on us? You do realize that it would have the opposite effect on us? It would hurt so much more that I can't even compare anything to it." I hadn't even thought of what they feel now, only what they would feel after I was gone, and if they were telling the truth, then I was wrong and it would be the complete opposite.

"I'm sorry. I really am…..It's not that you haven't shown me how much you care…..it's the opposite. You have so much…..and you guys know that's how I feel and …...that was why I was going to ….end my life. I didn't…..want the people I care about most…..to…...be hurt because of m…...me." I started crying so hard I couldn't even finish my sentences without having to stop and gather myself first. Minho held me tighter and then I felt Newt wrap around me as well. I heard Minho mumble something to Newt and he ran off up the stairs, after a minute or two of my continual bawling, Minho got up with me in his arms and carried me up the stairs and he layed me on what I'm guessing is our bed. Newt came in after us and laid on the side against the wall. He opened his arms with one laying on the bed and the other raised above him a bit. I squirmed over to him and curled into him. I felt the bed sink a bit as Minho crawled in on the other side of me after Newt wrapped his arms around my back. Minho pulled our large comforter over the three of us and rested his hand so it was laying on my stomach. I was getting really warm and my tears and babbling were reduced to hiccups.

"Thomas, I don't care what people think of us and neither does Newt. We only care about each other and that's all that matters. But you and I both know that if someone hurts you in any way, Newt and I will both beat the living hell out of them. We love you and you know that. Now go back to sleep and no more thoughts about "terminating" your life okay? Oh and the next time I see another cut on you….well, we go there but you know what I mean. Newt?" I shivered a bit from Minho's words because I knew I would be in serious trouble if I did it again and didn't tell them what was wrong but instead reserved to cutting or injuring myself.

"It's pretty much like what Minho said. So I don't have much else to say. But really, the next time you are dealing with a pain of any kind, talk to us first please." So with that, Newt placed his lips on mine roughly and while he was at that Minho was kissing down my neck. I could not handle the both of them at once, and they knew that. I couldn't move, so I couldn't get away. I was squirming all over the place but couldn't get free. Finally they stopped and I laid there panting and feeling really hot.

"What's the matter Tommy? Can't handle both of us at once?" Newt started laughing while Minho was chuckling behind me.

"Both…..of you….are…..jerks." I was really tired now after crying like I did, and the little show they just put on. However, they wanted to continue and were feeling me up like they usually do when they both attack me like they just did.

"God dammit! Go to sleep!"

Authors Note:

So ya, that was interesting to write. I know it's not the best, but I hope you liked it. And you should really tell me what you think. I would really appreciate it. Thank you!


End file.
